I’ve been involved in weddings professionally for years now, and I’ve seen it all (At least I hope I have). Almost every single couple I speak to post wedding have the same thoughts – “I can’t believe how fast the day went” or “I can’t even remember walking down the isle”. This ‘blacking-out’ period is a lack of mindfulness, or living in the moment. It comes with excitement, it comes with thinking about too many other things, and especially on your wedding day, it comes with anticipation. If you’re looking forward to ANYTHING on your wedding day, I’m convinced that you will miss out on your actual memories (Not the memories that your wedding photographer will capture for you).
During my wedding and the days leading up to it, I made a commitment to myself to be more mindful and more present than any other time in my life, and in my world of weddings, planning, brides, grooms, weddings photos and film, this was going to be a challenge.
I started to break down why people lose sight of what’s in front of them and started to boil down the attention spans of millennial humans. It seems that the more technologically advanced we are, the faster time goes around us, and this can be attributed to the constant access of information and need to be thinking, doing and being entertained. I constantly am thinking about something, a bride’s video we are editing, or my schedule for this weekend – Planning a same day wedding coordination session on some Saturday when it’s a month away. I, like most people that I know, are busy people not living in the moment. And during my wedding day, this was going to change. I’m going to share with you the actual steps that I took to make darn sure I saw everything, soaked in the moments, and actually remembered the feelings, emotions, thoughts, anticipations and overall happy times throughout my entire day.
I didn’t look forward to ANYTHING
Seriously, anything. In my experiences, If I started thinking about the ceremony, details or the photos or videos on the day of the wedding, I would get time warped to that moment as that’s where my concentration would lay. Not looking forward to an hour from now forces you to see what’s around you now.
My phone was off, all day
And I didn’t die either, weird. Keeping my mind off of the world around me and wasting precious moments chatting with friends who I was about to see anyway was a clear waste of time and resources.
I had a wedding planner
This was the best decision of my entire wedding – I’m sure my wife would agree. I had our wedding planner take care of every single detail f the day, from the ceremony, to the bridal suite (I surprised her with flowers and champagne…. That I didn’t have to set up). Worrying about the details, or the vendors showing up, or the tables being set properly takes your attention away from the NOW. Don’t think about anything, and hire a Boundless Wedding Planner.
I took a moment in the morning, and relaxed
Before your 7am hair appointment, or before your hair cut at the barber, take one hour for you, and you alone. You may have to rise a bit earlier than expected, but going for a calming walk, or gym session, followed by an unplugged breakfast solo will give you and your body time to relax and to become aware of the day ahead. Think of this session as a mindful meditation. When the day kicks off with the world coming down at you, you’ll be glad you did.
I truly believed the statement ‘It is what it is’
This was my mantra, and it should be yours. The wedding day is going to play out the way it’s going to play out. The wedding morning is not the time to cram more into it – Think of it like an exam, or a marathon. You’ve already done the prep, and this is the time where you will be as ready as you’re going to be. Let it play out, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
My best man was the time-keeper
I didn’t even look at the clock (well, except when my wife bought me a watch for the wedding present). I let the people around me dictate the time and where I had to be and when. I have a habit of being very much into the clock, and exceptionally punctual, but this day I needed to keep my eyes of it. You’ll have dozens of people looking out for you on your wedding day, let them.
I looked at every detail, all the time
I looked around, and locked eyes with those who grounded me, I noted the temperature of the room (HOT), I looked at the flowers down the isle, I looked over at the reverend, planner, DJ, captain of the hall, my parents, my brothers, everyone. I struggled with this, but I kept as in the moment as possible. I wasn’t anticipating, I was just letting things happen. This takes immense concentration, but it’s certainly worth it. Her walk down the isle was the most unbelievable event for me, and I wasn’t locked off on her, but the entire moment, I saw her, the guests, the chapel and everything encompassing.
Realize that you can’t be present in every moment, of every day, but you certainly can do things that will keep your wedding day moments as cherished as possible.