It wasn’t until I got married myself last summer that I understood the perception that grooms don’t care. I heard it time and time again from everyone – ‘it’s her day’ , or ‘just show up’. It all boils down to one key thing: Perfect for men and perfect for women are two completely different things. To expand further on that, it all comes down to the details.
It’s True… Grooms Don’t Care – But Not in the Way You Think!
It’s not that grooms don’t care about wedding details like they don’t care what you order for lunch . It’s that everything has a tendency to work out! Seriously, I’ve been to hundreds of weddings and they all work, every style works and the guests love it.
When my wife approached me about our wedding colours my natural response was “it doesn’t matter, pick whatever”. Now let me explain (specifically I expect her to be reading this so I have to cover by bases). Literally the polar opposite of me, she is the most relaxed person I’ve ever known. She has the unbelievable ability to actually live with a wedding photographer and his crazy ideas. When I responded, she answered ‘okay’, then started to analyze each option.
The key thing here is that I wasn’t telling her ‘it doesn’t matter’ in the belittling sense. I was saying ‘it doesn’t matter’ in the sense that everything works! Pick Navy and Mint, or purple and silver, it doesn’t matter. In my eyes, the wedding will still be perfect.
Guys have this amazing ability to go with the flow and to shut off the ‘details’ part of their brains. It’s just the way men are built. Women, on the other hand, are constantly thinking and making connections and compromises on the fly. They have the ability to multitask in a way that men can’t even imagine. I had a producer work for me who able to listen to audio books while writing incredible articles! #mindblown.
We ‘Don’t Care’ Because We Know It’ll Work!
When you present an option to a man, ‘I don’t care” just means he has no preference. He’ll happily accept the gold cake over the multi tiered white with blue ribbon on each layer.
We, as men, clearly want an amazing wedding and we want the prefect day. When you say that grooms don’t care, we’re not saying we don’t care about the wedding. We’re saying we know everything is going to work, whatever you choose! (Let’s not start on ‘yes dear’ though…)