You'll get on her nerves, and she'll get on yours. Your wedding day can be insanely stressful, especially if you’ve never planned a large event before. The details will start to pile up, vendors will screw up, and things won't go as expected (or to budget). This can the most stressful situation for any couple to handle.
Before things getting too heated, check out our pre-wedding stress busters and try to keep your jets cooled!
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #1: Set Up a Game Plan From Day One
Make an action plan when things start to heat up in the complaints department. Set ground rules when you start planning and stick to them. You know how you both handle stress, so use that as a starting point. Talk through what you both need to do to keep the peace. When the red alert sounds, go into autopilot! Hit the gym, go for a drive, play bubble pop on your phone for an hour. CHILL the hell out then get back into it.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #2: You Don’t Have Time to Lose a Day Fighting. Focus on What Matters
Weddings take a TON of time to plan, and it’s often during post-work hours. Try not to yell, it doesn't help! Wedding-related time is limited so be sure you're making the most of it. Focus on solving the issue as quickly and quietly as possible so you can get back to work. If and when things start to get hairy, put things aside and start working on a new task.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #3: It’s Not All About You… But It’s Also Not All About Her
Remember that although the wedding has traditionally been 'all about the bride' you both have to make compromises. If she wants a live band and you’re insistent on a DJ, find a solution that keeps you both happy. Try a band until 11:00 then have a DJ close off the night. Active compromise will show both of you that you are TRYING and will reduce friction overall. If not, go back to your game plan of cooling off.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #4: Do NOT Say Anything You'll Regret the Next Morning
If you do, you risk losing more than your late night slider table. I know a couple that almost canceled the wedding because one said 'I don’t even know why were getting married'. Two days before the wedding. If this happens, you'll need to do everything you can to rectify it as quickly as possible. The best approach is to make sure don’t put yourself in this position in the first place, though.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #5: Understand Her & Understand You
You’re both human beings with needs, wants and desires. When you truly love your significant other you want every ounce of happiness for her in every moment. Remember this when things take a turn for the worse. What's going on in her mind? What is she feeling? Why are you losing control? What is upsetting her? Put yourself in her shoes. Once you fully understand her stress, anger or frustration you'll can be empathetic rather than defensive.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #6: Be Fair. Be Honest. Be Logical.
It’s your day too, but she’s been dreaming of this moment for as long as she can remember. Have you? If you’ve ever felt that it's just a day/party for you and your guys, then let her do her thing. I'll never agree that 'the groom just shows up', but give her as much creative freedom as possible. Understand that this is her dream wedding, and you’re her dream husband! When you fully understand this and want to make her happy, there'll be less tension over the small stuff.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #7: Remember that She Trusts You
If she’s flipping out around you, it means she trusts you enough to be 100% HER while she’s near YOU. She doesn’t act this way around her friends or strangers. She trusts you to see her completely as her – for better or worse. Guys often think that their wives are this way around them because aren't worried about what you think of them. That's just not true – they completely trust you to see them as the person they are.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #8: Don’t Fix, Just Listen
She’s not looking for a solution to every one of life’s problems, even if you think you have them. This is a major difference between men and women. Men attempt to fix EVERYTHING, while women just need to get some things off their chest. They use talking to work out their thoughts and to bounce ideas around. Presenting an unsolicited solution to a problem raised during venting won't fix the issue. It might make you look like you're trying to shut down the conversation, though.
Pre-Wedding Stress Buster #8: It’s the Stress Talking
This seems like one of life’s most unfair statements, but it’s true. When humans become stressed out they tend to act in a way that reflects anxiety and panic. It goes back to the evolutionary roots of 'fight or flight'. Blood pressure starts to rise, stress hormones are released and we tense up. Simply put, it’s not her. I know, , it’s coming out of her mouth, but you have to accept that this isn't the real her. Understand that, and let it go. When things calm down, have the conversation about what YOU can do while she is like that.
It’s funny what a little bit of planning, communication and understanding can do for your relationship. Take it from me, don’t waste your precious time on silly things! Let the stress roll of your back so you can get back to being your carefree selves sooner.
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